A letter for Fateh

Dear Fateh,

It is amazing how time flies, I can't actually believe that we are now reaching 30 weeks mark! Another 10 weeks more or less before I could cuddle you in my hug and see your face insyaAllah. Okay...okay I admit that I actually cheated because I had a sneak peek of your chubby cheeks during our check up last 2 weeks. But who can resist???

I went to the scheduled check up alone this time as dad was offshore attending his job. Although I promised him that I would wait for him to be around for the check up, but I just simply can't. Life was hectic during that week and mummy was a bit depressed being left alone at home, so I was worried about your well being. And when I am worried, I seem to feel that your kicks and punches lessen and were not strong enough to comfort me. So, I decided to proceed with the check up that week. (It is a strong and reasonable excuse, right?). So after asking permission from daddy through email, I drove all the way to Kuantan after Fajr prayer. (Don't tell others that mummy was actually missing you so much, that I can't bear another week of waiting to see you..hehe!)

Mummy arrived at the clinic around 8.30 a.m, about half an hour later than usual. I thought that we were going to wait long but alhamdulillah we managed to be the third in the queue. Mummy spent the time waiting by having breakfast, finishing a few chapters of my novel and browsing the internet (was actually updating daddy about our what we are currently doing..huhu!). The visit definitely didn't feel the same when daddy was not around. I felt like I am a single, lonely mummy. I wished that he was there. I felt like I need to compensate for his absence so I made the doctor saved all your scans on CD for dad to watch when he's back onshore.

Then, it was my turn. The doctor offered me to have a 4D scan and of course I would never reject such opportunity. (That was why I'm there though...huhu!) During our last 4D scan you were very shy and kept hiding your face under your arms and even your feets! This time, I had sweet drinks and heavy breakfast before the check up, with hope that you would get the sugar rush and ready for action. But nope, you were having your morning nap and was seen sleeping peacefully this time. Cuteness! There are a few times when you yawn and stretch, but then you went back to sleep. We tried to wake you up but to no avail..huhu! I love you anyway, son.

The most important thing is that you are growing up healthily. The doctor later measured your growth and alhamdulillah you are as healthy as you can be. For the first time, I heard the 'swoosh...swoosh' of your heartbeat and it was an amazing relief. You were weighted around 1.106 kg that week. Alhamdulillah, I could only thank Allah for taking a very good care of you. Upon looking at your face, I thought that you copy everything from me, and the only looks that you take from Daddy is his nose...hehe! (Of course, Daddy would not agree with this statement).

Alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah... thumma alhamdulillah. I prayed that Allah will not only grant you with the beautifulness of Prophet Yusuf, but also complete you with the goodness of akhlak and the wiseness of Luqman. And I wished I had all the strength and have whatever it takes to be a good mother to you...ameen.

Much love,

Ibu