Our Breastfeeding Quest - Final Part

As I told you in the previous parts of Our Breastfeeding Quest, I failed miserably to directly breastfeeding Ayyash during our early days. I put the blame mostly on myself. Ayyash is a very easy baby I would say. He never throw a tantrum and I never really hear him crying very loudly. His cries usually only enough to make you notice what he really needs, but not annoyingly loud. I usually took chance to train him (and training myself too) when he is not fully awake and not really hungry. He would usually co-operate better and he will keep on trying. But each time he managed to latch, he will gag. And I can't stand such views. There are a lot of people who come to help (my mum, my mother in law, aunts, nurses etc to name a few) and too many tips given. But nothing seems to help.

There was one day when I just decided to give up on breastfeeding. I shut myself in a room, leaving Ayyash with his father, my breasts were all in pain from frequent pumping and I cried myself to sleep. I wonder why is everything seems so difficult, why can't I be as normal as other mothers out there??

Until one day, a sister of mine suggested the idea of being an exclusive pumping mother. I once thought about it, what if I never succeed in nursing and opt to pump my breast milk for Ayyash all along for the whole two years. And of course this idea received too many negative remarks from others. Most people told me that I could never successfully complete two years of exclusive breastfeeding without having the baby at my breast. They said that pumping would never be the same with nursing and pumping will never be able to keep my milk supply. It will deplete somehow, some day. Some other people asked me, why would make it a hassle? If I could not breastfeed then give him formula. Exclusive pumping simply means double work. Life basically was wake up, feed Ayyash, put Ayyash to bed, pump milk, clean pump parts, go to bed for an hour, repeat the process again and again! Now I can see why a lot of mothers out there simply give up on breastfeeding.

So I went to internet and google about exclusive pumping (EP). And I found a lot of articles offering supports and tips to keep up milk supply for mothers who decide to become exclusive pumpers. Since then I became a lot more optimistic, knowing there are people out there who have been there and done that. Means, it is possible! Honestly, this new discovery has somehow removes a huge burden from my head. I am a lot more relax in my quest to train Ayyash to nurse and we are not stressing ourself too much anymore. I mean, if I never be able to nurse Ayyash, he could still get all the benefits of breastmilk. A mother who decides to become an exclusive pumper is a mother who is very determined about giving the best for their babies eventhough it will cost them a lot of trouble. I feel good about myself to be able to dedicate my efforts for my beloved baby.

But I have not stop my effort to nurse Ayyash altogether. There must be a lot of people out there who faced similar problem like what I am facing right now and there must be a solution to it. I did some more research and found out about correcting nipples during pregnancy. There are a lot of products in the market who could help mother to prepare themselves for breastfeeding, breast shells for example. But it is too late for me! Then I found out about nipple shield and did some research about it. From Wikipedia:

A nipple shield is a nipple-shaped sheath worn over the areola and nipple during breastfeeding. Modern nipple shields are made of soft, thin, flexible silicone and have holes at the end of the nipple section to allow the breast milk to pass through.

Nipple shields are used in various situations:

• Some mothers have small or inverted nipples which make it difficult for the baby to latch on. Using a shield allows for feeding to progress until the baby's suction draws out the nipple.
• Small, weak or sick babies often have difficulty latching on to the breast. A nipple shield makes latching easier and prevents the baby becoming discouraged.
• Babies who had to be bottle-fed since birth can become used to the bottle teat. Nipple shields feel more like teats, and aid with the transition to breast feeding.
• A mother's nipples can become sore or cracked from incorrect breastfeeding. A shield allows the mother to continue breastfeeding until her cracked nipples heal and she improves her latching technique.
• They make it easier to measure the quantity of milk consumed.

And so I look up for the nipple shield online and decided to get myself a pair of it. At first I doubt it could work but it never hurt to try. Plus the price is not very expensive either. There are various brands who produced nipple shield. I bought Medela Contact Nipple Shield based on some good reviews about it online. It only took a day for the shield to arrive at my door.

Medela Contact Shield

Upon opening the package at first I was clueless on how it would work. I was eagerly waiting for Ayyash to wake up for his feeding to try out the shield. Of course with a spare bottle of EBM at my side, just in case if this things does not work. He was half awake when I put him to my breast and alhamdulillah unexpectedly he latched on brilliantly with the help of the shield! I was so happy and for the first time I enjoyed my breastfeeding moment with Ayyash. He suckled and I can't help but keep on wondering whether he gets the milk or not. And he assured me that things work out ust fine when he finally fell asleep, looking full and satisfied. Immediately, I messaged my husband telling him our achievement for the day. He could never be any happier!

But I know I cannot rely on the nipple shield forever. Most doctors and lactation consultant stress that nipple shields use should be temporary; the aim is always to return to regular breastfeeding, unless otherwise indicated. There are some disadvantages when using nipple shield such as the baby will get less milk if the shield is used incorrectly, the mother is more at risk of plugged ducts and mastitis due to the reduced milk transfer and risk of reduced milk supply. So mother who used nipple shield has to closely monitor her baby's weight and need to empty her breast after each feeding using pump.

I would think that it is better to have baby on breast with a shield than not having the baby on breast at all. And I have found mothers who go on using the shield for the whole period of nursing her baby. But I will try to wean Ayyash from the shield anyway insyaAllah. At least now I can have ease of mind when thinking of going out with Ayyash as I never need to bring EBM, my Swing, cooler bag etc. All I need is my shield and it comes with a nice cute case to keep the shield clean and sterilized. yeay!!

Maybe some readers will find that it is rather embarassing for me to talk about this thing publicly on my blog. But I take this as my contribution towards young mothers out there and regards this entries on my breastfeeding quest as educational rather than personal. So I end Our Breastfeeding Quest entries here and hope it could be beneficial for others. Thanks!