The big news!

Salam,

I know I have been keeping this big news from everyone for a while. Although I have been giving obvious hints through the 'Little Us' widget at my right sidebar, but I just feel so bad for not announcing it officially. You have to know it is not easy to keep this thing shut. (physically I can't though because I have started to eat like a monster and looks like a monster too!) It is like, you are graduating (yeay! among the biggest event in life, right?) but you keep it as a secret from everyone. Difficult isn't it? I mean, it is among the biggest, most awaited things all this while and now it is happening but I can't shout it to everyone. Yes, I am pregnant. Alhamdulillah!

Muhammad was advising me not to blurt it out until I passed my 'safety zone', the first trimester. Since our doctor was putting my pregnancy at high risk, I was indeed in a worried state every little seconds. So earlier, I just let my family and close friends know about this. Alhamdulillah we are now passing 13 weeks pregnancy, which means the risk of miscarriage has much reduced. Although the possibility is still there. Please make du'a for us.

Since I have nothing to do (plus I am only left with pregnancy brain now) so I decided to scan all the scanned photos of our baby week by week and upload it on this blog. I am so kind to labeled the scan photos as how the doctor described it to me during our visits so at least the black and white thing make some sense for us. So let us see how our little bean has grown up since the first time we saw him/her!

Our first U/S scan to confirm my pregnancy. During this time, the baby might just consist of a ball of cells (called blastocyst) which has just implanted. Notice the worrying 5-7 cm ovarian cyst on the right ovary and the fluid around my uterus. That is the reason why they are putting my pregnancy at high risk. We are worried that the cyst might grow bigger and the fluid will increased and drain my respiratory organ.

My second U/S scan when I had slight brown bleeding during work. Only shown gestational sac which measures 5 weeks and still the big ovarian cyst was obvious on the right. The doctor said we only had 50-50 chance at that time since the bleeding shown a threatened miscarriage. Had another scan at 6 weeks but the doctor did not gave us the scan photo to keep. That scan should show a rice-grain sized embryo.

Our fourth U/S scan on the eight week of pregnancy has almost clearly shown the embryo itself and the yolk sac other than gestational sac. Now the doctor can just measure CRL to determine the gestational age instead of measuring the gestational sac. Fetal heartbeat was seen for the first time and the cyst has shrunk to just 2.7 cm! Alhamdulillah!

Our latest scan on 10th week. I read that by the end of this week, the baby has graduated from its embryonic period and can now be called fetus! Which means a big sigh of relief for me as somehow the baby has passed the high risk of physical birth defects and miscarriage risk has much reduced. And I should expect a rapid growth after this (plus more and more weight gain! oh no!). The baby measured 3.72 cm with estimated age at 10 weeks and 4 days.

A positive sign of fetal heart beat was also shown. I asked my doctor about the rate but the doctor said that they would not bother to measure the rate during this stage. It will usually matters in later months as we progress with the pregnancy. My doctor also showed me the developing umbilical cord and placenta which will takes up the role of the yolk sac later on. Another reason to breathe a sigh of relief! Alhamdulillah!

All in all, it was so far a healthy pregnancy. The doctor was happy and we are over the moon. She was happy enough to let me come once a month so I'll be seeing her during my 15th week. Not like typical first trimester, alhamdulillah for me it was indeed an easy first 3 months. I have no morning sickness at all...except for light headache which come and go. I am more optimistic. I hope we could always stay on the bright side and the sun will never stop shining.... Keep on praying.

Ar-Raqaiq is now on .com!

After a lot of hard work and efforts, we are proud to present you our brand new website! Ar-Raqaiq is now on .com and we have changed the name from Ar-Raqaiq Modest Clothing to Ar-Raqaiq Wardrobe. Thanks to our webmaster, my beloved brother, Adli who is willing to spent his precious time and talent in making this website a reality!

We hope with this new website will make it easier for our customer to browse through the products and place their order. This website is still in its beta version so please excuse us on any inconvenience while you are browsing it. We are still currently working on the online payment and we are sorry to say that our customer could only place order through this website but the payment still has to be through bank transfer. We will inform you once we managed to set up the online payment for the website. It should not be too long from now.


The collection that we have in our website are still from the previous Summer Collection. Since it is now winter season in Syria, it is quiet difficult for us to get the suitable clothing for Malaysian market. We hope to find something nice for you during the next Spring season inshaAllah... For the time being, we are planning to held After Eid Clearance Sale. So please watch out for our promo!


So, please come and visit us at http://raqaiqwardrobe.com! We can't wait to see you there!

Oh... and yes, anyone who are interested to get web design service from my brother Adli, please leave us a message at this blog and I'll provide you with his contact number.

Bad...bad blogger I am

I know... I know...

I have been a bad bad blogger...

I have not being fair to this blog although this blog should meant to be my main home. I still write.... seriously I am. I don't know why, I enjoyed more being at my other home, My Journey to The Motherhood, this lately. I have lots and lots of thing to write about stuff related to that blog and I have really updated it more frequently.

There are so many things happened since I last wrote here. The Ramadhan, our Eid and perhaps among the most important event of our life! But often when I start writing, I will stop halfway and leave it as a draft. Okay...excuses, right?

I promise I will try to be here more often....I promise. As punishment, I will make myself wear a dunce cap and write, “I will update my blog more often,” 1000 times on a chalkboard.

1..2..3 and still counting...

Happy 3rd Anniversary, sayang...

Much Love,
Ur wife

Bowling Spree!!

Salaam..

We've had great fun last week...alhamdulillah. On Monday, I went for bowling friendly match between our company and a client. I was not actually on the list but it happened I was at the Manager's room when the coordinator came in, looking for people to replace those who can't make it. I am no good at this game and am always defeated each time I played with Muhammad. But I decided to just gave this one a go.

Alhamdulillah the game was good. I scored over than 100 in the first game (which I know is not amazingly high score but the highest so far for my record..haha!) . I made some throw for second game before I excused myself as I have to made my way to mum's house that night. I was never expected to get anything out from the game but I won a chic rice grains container! Yeay! (btw, I was actually aiming for the polished Samsung microwave oven!hoho!) Anyway the rice container would be useful as the one that we already have is not 'kebal' enough from 'kutu beras'!

Then it was Saturday when we had our company's Sport's Day. Only two games provided; Futsal and Bowling. So I choose to play bowling again. I though I've had enough practice from Monday's game! huhu! I was hoping to score more than what I scored on Monday but instead I only managed to score 93... poor game eh? I was paired with the nice Kak Fa'e whom also very good at bowling. She scored about similar points as mine. I was quiet disappointed for my achievement on that day so I left early as I want to accompany Muhammad studying at home. Owh... and I fell on the bowling alley right after I throw the bowling ball as I slipped on the slippery lane. And to add spice to it, the incident happened in front of my Manager and he can't avoid but to laugh at me. But the throw resulted in spare by the way so it paid...kui2!

When we were back at the office this week Kak Su was telling me that I actually won something! Haha! I thought she was joking or I might just win a consolation price for falling on the lane. Then I found out that the game is not counted by personal score but by pairs. So my score added with Kak Fa'e scores put us at the second place! Wooohooo! hehe Alhamdulillah! So today, I brought back home a brand new Adidas 'balik kampung' bag as a present. I was bluffing to Muhammad about how good I am to have to win the second place in the office. And it ticked him off so he called for a match tonight!

Okay readers... please pray that I'll beat Muhammad tonight at the bowling alley... and we really meant serious business here! huhu!


Update: Muhammad won the game last night. I lost very badly...hukhuk! I was like "Why? Why? Why the ball rolled down the drain each time tonight?????"

Blog and blog

Salaam..

Thank you for those who left me with kind words of comfort from the last entry. Alhamdulillah I'm coping and have started to prepare myself for any possibility. I know that only the best could happen and I leave everything to Allah. For the time being, I try what ever I can to perform my best at the company. Please make du'a for me.

I am sorry if I can not update very frequent here now, as I have 3 blogs to maintain (including this one) at the moment;

For this one, I wrote about general things. My outlook on life, my experience, sharing of opinions and knowledge, whatever I thought I could share freely and could bring benefits to others. You might have known it well as you read this.


For those who noticed, I have this banner at my side bar. This is another blog of which I shared my battle with PCOS, the treatments, endless doctor visits, how I felt about it , my hope and dreams to see the little one. But I made it as private though and only certain people that I felt could benefit from it is allowed to read. And it is woman only site! If any of you felt that you should read it, I will happily add you into our little family.

This one is my boutique blog. Updated whenever the new stock arrive. Owh by the way I have just updated it recently with the new collections that was just arrived from Syria! Feel free to browse through it and tell me what do you think. If you are interested in any of it, just leave me a message. And it have a journal linked to it, where I shared about my opinion on muslimah fashion and what's new in Islamic fashion industry.

So I might be here and there. If I don't updated here, I might be rambling something at my other blogs...huhu! Aite... that is all from now I guess.

Another Life's Chapter

My life is like a drama, or a novel plot. That was what my friend used to say. Too many suprises and unexpected things keep on happening. They said, they have no clue on how I'm coping.

Well, I thought that this particular chapter of my life is going to have a good successful ending. Working in a well known engineering consultancy firm as a project engineer seems like a very promising prospect. I am looking forward for it. But Allah has better plan for me of which I do not know. The journey has just started but it seems like it will end soon and I have to start again somewhere else.

It was my second day at this new place when I was told that I cannot continue working here. To practice engineering in Malaysia, you have to be registered with the Board of Engineers Malaysia (BEM). That was what stated in the contract. But I can't! Simply because I'm a UK graduate and that they did not recognized my Bachelor degree. So, who said studying overseas is that great? It doesn't mean anything now... To obtain that qualification, I have to continue my master or sitting for a special examination.

It is ironic. I got to enjoy my dream job for a day before I am sacked. And now I'm almost jobless. I left my previous job and it will be shameful to beg for the position back. I don't know what to do. For a while, I kept on thinking why is these all happening to me? And why me? I was angry but I don't know to whom. The firm? BEM? Petronas? Who? I ended up crying so hard.

After office, I drove to the nearest beach all by myself. I texted Muhammad saying I will be back later than usual. I sat on a rock with a mushaf in my hand. I looked at the wide blue oceans, listened to the calming sounds of waves. I let the breeze soothed me with their soft touch. I opened Quran hoping to get an answer. I read and read till I almost finish a chapter. I did not find any exact answer but I found the calmness back. It has washed away my pain.

I went back home. I was tired and I desperately need a deep sleep. I went straight to bed while Muhammad was helping me with some house chores. He woke me up when my usrati came to our door with tears in her eyes. She was in need of soothing words as she was facing her difficult time as well. I immediately tried to forget my sadness and put up a smile on my face. For I know I should spared a room for her in my heart.

And so we talk with tears in our eyes. Muhammad was so nice to serve us with hot tea and some biscuits. By the end of it we were laughing to our silliness, knowing that what we have gone through is nothing compared to others who suffered more severely. She ended up staying over for the night. And another usrati came in later to join us and she also stayed over.

Later that night, I laid down on bed trying to get a sleep. I wanted to forget everything that happened that day, but the bad thoughts kept on coming to my head. Muhammad was at my side wiping each and every tears that were rolling down my face. My mind wandered blankly. Dzikr keeps playing on my lips... Allahu...Allahu...Allahu... to encounter the bad thoughts. Muhammad was looking at me, I saw tears in his eyes. He felt the pain, I know.

The next day, on my way to work, I listened to Maher Zain's InsyaAllah. It somehow gave me some strength as I will see the manager at the office that day. I will leave everything to Allah. InsyaAllah he will show me the way...


update: I am given 3 months of probation period to show my values to the company. If I succeeded then they will consider on keeping me. If not... I will be a fulltime housewife... huhu! Make a lot of du'a for me please... I desperately need it.

Nostalgic Moccacino

I was walking along the aisle to find any 3-in- 1 hot drink as we are running out of it.

Guess what I found?

A G-Day Moccacino 3-in-1 yeay! And it was the only one left on the rack. I never thought I could find it again! So without hesitate, I grab it! (I usually takes long time to decide on what to buy..hoho!)


You might not know the brand well but for me it is very special. Why is it so special?? It reminds me of my time when I was in Jordan at Fateh! I remember to have it everyday for breakfast and tea time and I like it so much that I almost finished the whole pack of it! (Sorry girls!huhu!) And not forgetting the time when I have to spend the whole day of sharing sessions and by the end of the day, a sister bring me a cup of hot moccacino to refresh my tiredness. So, it is not a usual hot beverage for me, it reminds me of the sweetness of ukhuwah everytime when I sip it! It reminds me of these faces...

I miss you all sooo badly!!

Okay... have to admit other than missing these girls, I miss the sweets along the Syari' Jami'ah as well (yang ada keju warna putih pastu ada mcm kuih cakar ayam kat atas tu then curah air gula tu... apa eh nama dia? Sedap sangat2!!! Kalau boleh pos sile pos. Haha!) Okay I'm joking! Nanti ada hamba Allah yang baik hati pergi pos manisan tersebut ke sini pulak.

Muhammad has been warning me on requesting something on this blog since I never expect someone would actually takes some effort to get the thing for me and posted it. (tisk...tisk... terharu!) Remember when I wrote about my dream birthday present a month before my brithday? (read HERE) Last week I went to the post office to claim the present. That nice-kind-gorgeous soul is my beloved Kak Su.

Cool bukan? Siap ada rehal special untuk dia nih. Sayang nih!

What so special about it is, it has translation per word and insyaAllah would be easier for my quest to memorize surahs. (May Allah help...) Before this, I would take sometimes to translate kalimah after kalimah before trying to memorize the whole ayat as I found it easier if I know the meaning of words by words. InsyaAllah I will try my best to benefit from it if may Allah gave the reward to Kak Su too. Ameen...



ps: Okay Kak Su, I need to know your birthday. Muhammad 'mewajibkan' saya to repay your kindness.... (padahal saya memang berniat begitu, tak payah suruh pun saya buat..heh!)





-sipping the hot Moccacino-
Khadeeja

Work and things in between

Supposedly today, I will start my job at Ranhill Worley as a Project Engineer. But yesterday they called and asked me to start on Sunday instead, together with another new staff. Nice! So I can have today's off and settled other things that have long been left unattended (my home, my business etc...) This would be my fourth job since I graduated. A month as a teacher, 3 month of BEST course (can this be considered a job? I am paid though...), 3 month as an instructor/lecturer and here's my new job! I hope that I stay this time

The thought of working in a big company like Ranhill Worley send me shivers. I don't know what to expect. Many of my colleagues at my previous workplace said that I'm going to have a very busy life after this as compared to now. Some said I will have to get used to visiting site and be tough! It is a man job they said. I have asked the interviewer during my interview session about the job. He said that it is more on management and academics rather than technical. I think I prefer it that way. One of my usrati who is a Project Engineer herself told me that most of the time I'll be in the office except if I really want to see the site which is not that frequent. Okay... that looks good too. I don't know...we'll see...I'll write more about it later.

And so, we had a farewell lunch yesterday organized by my colleagues. They were all very nice to held such celebration, considering that I have only spent 3 months there. There are LOTS of food! (which was my favourite part) I bought a huge box of Big Apple Donut as a token of appreciation. Thank you... thank you... thank you everyone!

The Mochachino cake by Kak Leni. Can order here!

After the event, I went back to my office. Prepare last tutorial sheets for my student, fighting with the photostat machine after that, return the reference books to the library and tidied up my office. Working in TATiUC was a pleasant experience, I would say. I'm moving out not because of anything bad there but simply I just want to venture into other type of experience which is working in real oil and gas industry. If we are talking about the pay, I got higher pays in TATiUC compared to what Ranhill offers. It is just that I would like to put my 3 years of university study into practice. But I know one day I will be back to the academic field. I think...

Farewell, my office...hukhuk! I'm going to miss the moment here

Looking back, I'm glad that I actually leave something upon my leaving. I spend my 3 months there working to improve the laboratory management and documentation, while it has long been abandoned by the guys (I am the only female instructor working there). And it paid off by the audit visit from a regulatory body last week where they found out that everything in a satisfactory condition. We have all the required documentation and records, yeah! My mission when I first came in was, I wanted to make sure that the laboratory will gain ISO certification for Good Laboratory Management. But, I'm leaving and I hope that my other colleagues will continue my quest.

For me, when people pay you, they put trust in you and want you to give out the best that you can. What's more, it is the amanah and we will be questioned for it. I could choose to just sit around in my office and browsing the internet for the whole day when I was in TATiUC, as the student were not around so technically means, no work. But I simply thought that I don't want to feed myself with haraam money. And so I would be looking for work every time I am at my work place and spent my sweat on it. By the end of the day it gave me satisfaction and it was such a relief knowing that I'm paid for something!

But there were days when there were really nothing to do and so I spent the bored hours browsing internet (as that was the only mean of entertainment) I felt guilty though.... But thanx to my beloved usrati (back in Manchester) who forwarded me an article from Ust Zaharudin's site. The article discussed about the Islamic views of spending time browsing internet during leisure hours at work place. And it has somehow gave me a relief. You can read the article HERE. Ustaz has elaborated it in very detail.

As for my plan for furthering study, I think I put it into a halt first. I wanted to get use to my new workplace and my new daily routine before I'm thinking about adding other commitment. As for Muhammad, I am happy for him as he got the offer to further his postgraduate study in UTM. Alhamdulillah! So next week we'll be going to Skudai for his registration. He will be doing it part time and his classes will be on weekend. This means less free time! I think I should prepare myself to be mentally and emotionally strong to support him throughout this journey. I don't think that we could afford to do too many things at the same time; our tarbiyah dan dakwah, work, business and study. So I'm sparing my time to support Muhammad and I'll continue my study when he finishes insyaAllah.

May Allah guide and help us... ameen.

Hari Kejadian: Lost and Found

Alhamdulillah... thank you Allah for giving me chance to walk this far. For giving me chance to breath in Islam all this while. As for today, I have been living for 24 years... Yes, I am now 24 years old.

This year we celebrated the birthday as early as the beginning of June when we were at the in law's house for Baby Umar's akikah. As everyone were there, so we decided to celebrate all the June's babies!

The June's babies!

Okay, Abang Hazim is not a June's baby but we put his name anyway because we've missed his birthday in May. So the actual June's babies would be; Emak, Kak Puteri, Abang Faiz and me. Last year was similar as we are all gathered at Kak Puteri's house and so we bought cake and celebrate it. (And the cake looks exactly like this!). My mother in-law was very thoughtful. She gave me a tea set as my birthday present.

The week towards my birthday was the most depressing week ever. Muhammad has been away for like five days and I stayed at home with my beloved usrati. They were all so kind to come over and accompanied me through the week. As everyone was being stressed out by the final project report and their presentation, so I have decided to held our weekly usrah on the beach last Thursday night. We had a good meal at the nearby restaurant and found a nice place for our liqo' that night when a group of men with bags of Burger King's came to the place and asked our permission to sit nearby. I don't think that they really need our permission as they were already settling down and started to eat before we said anything. We felt a bit uncomfortable as the place is quiet secluded and they were all so loud! And so we decided to find a new spot.

On that particular time.... that very particular time, I have lost track of where my hand phone was. All I was thinking at that time was to bring my usrati away from those men. Until it was time to go home, I started to look for my phone. But the phone was nowhere to be seen. Aaaaaaaa...! We tried to look for it at the place we used to sit but to no avail. And so I spend the next day being depressed and miserable. I found myself crying about half an hour in my office (glad that I have the office all by myself) out of no reason!(I blame the raging hormones)

After office, I went back to my mum's house as it was already weekend and I have promised to fetch Muhammad at the bus station the next day. On Friday night, Muhammad came home and he bought me my birthday present! He said he had to give it in advance as I desperately needed it. And he brought out a box of brand new hand phone from his bag to replace my lost one~ sob sob... Yeay! And that made my week!

"I'm glad that you lost your phone, if not, I won't have any idea what to give you this year"

True... true. Thanks dear!

Random Rambling

I am in KL right now...

I went to see my potential supervisor for my master last Tuesday in UM. If you ask me how was it, I would say that the meeting resulted in me being discourage of doing master by research. The lady Prof was fine and very encouraging. She was the one who I contacted through email and phone when I decided to do my master in UM. But when I told her about my research interest, she thought that Dr. R should know it better. And so the meeting involved me, the lady Prof and Dr. R.

The thing that discourage me was:


First, Dr. R was keep saying, "I don't think that this project going to be enough with just one master". What's that supposed to mean eh? (I honestly blurred on that remark) And he kept saying it a few times on a regular interval.


Second, He never reply my mail! The lady Prof was very kind that she replied all my mails at right instant and whenever I called her she was always around. And so I know if I would have her as my supervisor, she would always be there when I need her, you see? But with Dr.R, after the meeting, he promised that he would send me the reference for me to read. It has been 2 days now, but nothing! (okay... maybe I should be patient and wait la bit longer, but if the mail does not comes in for the next few weeks, then I'm giving up)


Third, I barely could understand his accent. I know he is from US but does the accent should not be too much different from British accent?


Lastly, he definitely don't want a part timer and wanted it to be done full time which I can't at the moment.


And so I have enough reason why I'm not proceeding with doing master by research with him. I once read an article about deciding of whether to choose taught or research based master. The article said, if you decide to do master by research, other than choosing something that is within your interest (because you are going to spend your precious 2 years of your life on it), you must also make sure that you have a GOOD SUPERVISOR! Someone that could make your soon-to- be-difficult years a little bit easier. Someone that could encourage you and always positive.

I think I have finally decided to do my master part time on taught course which means weekend's hardwork! yeah! And Muhammad will be joining the boat insyaAllah.

I remembered my conversation with the nice lady Prof when Dr. R was out of the room for a while. She asked me of why I decided to do masters and do I really interested in joining academic. Then I told her of my sad story with my sponsor. The ridiculous policy of not allowing husband and wife to work in the same company. I jokingly said, I hate the company so much for dumping me and I can't even look the company's logo at every oil pumps ever since! But hey... I can't because someone that I love is working with that company. Ironic, isn't it? And it gave her a good laugh... she was saying that, for the first time she met a person that felt the same. She was in the geology department and of course working with petroleum geology research needed her to plead for data from the company. But it usually takes yeaaaaaaaaaarss for her to get it and thus delayed all the research. And she hate it so much but just like me, she can't, because her husband is with the company!

Talking about the company, I am now staying next to the company's proud skyscraper. It hurts me a little each time I'm looking at those twin towers. It reminds me of my jokes with my friend before,

"Hey, where are you from?"

"Malaysia!"

"Malaysia? Which one...?"

"The one with the twin towers (yes I was so proud of it once)"

"Ooo yes... that one! That tower is amazing...have you been there?"

"Yes, they are my sponsor and I'll soon going to work in there (naively)"

"Are you serious????"

"Yes, I'm going to book my office on the bridge of those towers. Haha!"

It has been five years since then.

And I'm not working in the towers.

And never step on the bridge either.

They've dumped me.

But looking back, this is what I have wished before. I remembered how much I wanted to be a full time housewife and freed myself from the bond of contract of the company. And how I thought that would be so impossible. But Allah has granted me my wish with the easiest way that I could never thought of. Who knows why they made such policy and put it in practice right after my graduation, making me among the very first 'victim'. Who knows that they just let me go and never get me back to pay my study loans. I'm finally free to decide on anything that I like to do for my life!

"...tetapi boleh jadi kamu tidak menyenangi sesuatu, padahal itu baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal itu tidak baik bagimu. Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui..." (Al-Baqarah: 216)

I can be a full time housewife if I want to and Muhammad is certainly happy with it. But it can be bored sometimes at home when he is away and so I worked. Although the pay is not as much as what my friends are getting at those towers, but I'm grateful. I'm grateful with whatever Allah has given me now. Maybe one day, I would just decide to quit work and baby-sit my baby all day. It would be nice isn't it?

Alhamdulillah....thank you Allah! *smile*




note: I was dreaming playing with a cute 6 month old baby boy last night..hehe! I dont know why but I just know that he's ours! Owh well..it is just a dream anyway....

Should I go?

Assalamualaikum...

The result of PTD entry exam should have been released last month. But I forgot to check it out and today I don't know what remind me of it. And so I went to SPA website to check. I saw the link to the result of entry examination for Gred 41 on the result section and so I click. And then it brings me to a pop-up window where I have to key in my IC number.

'The page cannot be displayed'

Fine! Try again... similar words came out. But I'm not giving up and I suddenly get excited to get to know of how I did for the exam. Then I click on a link below the result section. A schedule for Assesment Centre Program for Gred 41. Feel like it should have be something to do with the result and so I click and key in my IC number again.

And here was what written on the screen:

The conclusion is, alhamdulillah I have passed the exam and now proceed for physical test. I don't know why I still don't feel anything. Blank and numb. Maybe it is just not something that I would like to do. Then called Muhammad to inform him about the news. And his voice was also expressionless.

"Shall I go?"

"Tak tahulah. Whereabout?"

"Kemaman"

"Owh..dekat je. We decide laterlah"

The question is... Should I go? Then I remembered a news that I heard last month. I asked Mr.Google and browse through Utusan Archive. This is what I found:

Pegawai PTD koma selepas ikuti kursus ala komando meninggal

31/05/2010 11:18am

KLANG 31 Mei - Pegawai Tadbir Diplomatik (PTD) yang tidak sedarkan diri selepas mengikuti kursus ala komando di Jugra, Kuala Langat dekat sini meninggal dunia pagi ini.

Norhashimah Wahid, 31, meninggal dunia di Unit Rawatan Rapi (ICU) Hospital Tengku Ampuan Rahimah (HTAR) di sini pukul 6.20 pagi tadi.

Mayat Allahyarham akan dibawa je rumah ibunya di Jalan Enggang Timur, Taman Keramat, Kuala Lumpur selepas dibedah siasat. - Utusan

That's the long story cut short. For detailed story click on the link below:

Pegawai PTD meninggal ikuti kurus ala komando

Norhashimah meninggal selepas koma ikuti kursus ala komando

I have heard so many versions of the story. Some said that she was forced to drink muddy sock's juice to the extent that it have caused her to have that lung infection and other stories, which all in all scared me, ok? Al-Fatihah for her soul and my deep sympathy for her family especially her hubby and daughter.

I am always against physical-army training or whatsoever that I find irrelevant. My sponsor once sent me to Outbound School of Lumut for a week to undergo of somewhat endurance program. The program was in replace of Program Anak Angkat that our seniors went on the previous years. It says to promore endurance and 'jati diri' for us scholars so that we appreciate what Allah have given us now by going through those difficult moment during the program. Owh well.. for me, having to spend nights at villagers house and getting to know how they live is much more rewarding. For me, it is a lifetime experience and at least you get the similar benefit of being grateful with whatever you have now compared to other people who don't have it. And also get a chance to contribute and do something for others, well in this case, the villagers. Plus, you get it without the bruises, pains and sunburn! Arrrgh!

I don't mind having to go through all those physical activities and I did it when I went to that OBS. But what's really irritates me was when they neglect all Islamic principles. Having to do all those activities does not mean that you can't observe your duty as a Muslim right? The participants are never reminded of solah and what's more jema'ah prayer. And don't mentioned about ikhtilat... imagine playing human knot in a group of men and women. In the end, I didn't get the certificate for that program and in returns I got a warning letter from my sponsor since I left early without attending the Closing Ceremony. ONLY the closing ceremony because I have to attend family matters and I did each and every course of activities successfully.

I don't mind doing the physical activities but need to have valid reason of why I should do it! When I was in college, every week I did canoieng (in cold winter!), swimming, archery, mud course, wall climbing etc but in the end I know that the skill will be useful during my second year when I instruct school chilren on those skills. How rewarding it is having to see the kids smile and safely undergo those activities or when their mum thanked me when their children know how to swim by the end of summer.

But now, could anyone tell me;

What is the relevance of commando-like physical training for government officer who would only involve in making policices and management????

Okay, back to the actual reason why I'm writing this. I just wanted to ask you readers:

"Should I go?"

SUMMER! and why I should get excited!

Assalamualaikum...

SUMMER comes again! Yeay! (ye... saya tahu Malaysia panas dan lembap sepanjang tahun... I mean for some 4 season countries la.. ) Usually around this time I'll be the most happiest person as it is the time to get on the plane and and see all the beloved ones in Malaysia! But since this year I am already in Malaysia (it has been almost a year!) and got to see them everyday, I have to find some other reasons to be happy and get excited! (oh, don't get me wrong, I'm still happy to see my beloved ones each day). Kalau org putih dapat cahaya matahari sejemput tu pun dah happy sangat dan terus kerumun macam semut hurung gula, siap hampar tikar dan main frisbee, bajet picnic. Alhamdulillah... but as a person currently living on the equator I still have to find other reasons to be excited!

Okay, these few months are also the happiest time since around this time I'll see A LOT of my beloved friends stepping on to the next maratib amal! Baitul Muslim! Which means.... lots of wedding feast and eat and eat and eat! (and gaining weight!) So, we would like to congratulate our dear ikhwah and akhawat who will get married and got married this summer! They are.... (drum roll please!):

Ukhti Diana Ibrahim and Akhi Ateeq

Ukhti Irnani Ismail and Akhi Ismail Ibrahim - manage to attend this!! alhamdulillah!

Ukhti Shahida and ?

Ukhti Han Sheffield and ?

Ukhti Radziana and ?

Ukhti Zarith Fawiza and Akhi Faizal

Ukhti Syazwani Nasihah andAkhi Syafiq

Ukhti Arifah Abdul Rahim and ?

And also my dear ex-schoolmate who bot got married last weekend. Good time for batch reunion ey? Me and Muhammad manage to attend both and they are all such beautiful brides! Congratulations to:

Nur Hawadah Abdul Aziz and Kamarul Izhan

Nur Hakimah Ahmad and Jabal Nur Isa

While I'm writing this, I'm listening to Baraka Allahu Lakuma from Mr. Maher Zain. (just bought the CD last week..hehe!best2! Sile beli) Dedicating the song to all the newly weds! Baraka Allahu Lakuma, Wabarak 'Alaikuma, Wa Jama'a Bainakuma Fi Khayr!

Another reason to get excited is.... my 'cinta-cinta hati' are all coming back for holiday! Let's plan for a Manchesterian reunion shall we? Rindu sangat kat semua! Not forgetting my newly found loves in Jordan. Do tell me once you have reach Malaysia or else merajuk tak nak pergi Jordan dah, sekian.

Okay... dah. Nak sambung kerja!

ps: To adik-adik Jordan yg berkenaan, don't worry... akak still remember hutang entry untuk korang. Nak postpone post entry tu on our anniversary aci tak?

SmilingKhadeeja

Tawakkal 2

"Marhaban ya nurul aini.... marhaban yang nurul aini...."

Harmoni marhaban yang dilaungkan ahli jemaah masjid yang dijemput ayah ke kenduri akikah pada malam itu. Si kecil Umar lena di dalam buaian batik jawa yang dihias indah dengan bunga-bungaan. Buaian turun-temurun cucu-cucu Tok Megat, kata mak. Kenduri 'naik buai' adalah adat khusus orang Perak. Jika di Pahang lebih dikenali dengan kenduri 'cukur jambul' atau di sesetengah negeri lain digelar kenduri 'pijak tanah'. Walau apa pun namanya, saya kira adat seumpamanya adalah sebagai tanda meraikan kedatangan anggota baru dalam keluarga. Sebagai tanda kesyukuran dengan bertambahnya zuriat dan keturunan.

Si kecil Umar lena dalam buaian

Ini pulak the big brother Irfan..hehe!

"Marhaban ya nurul aini..."

Marhaban dan zanji masih berkumandang. "Selamat datang cahaya mataku..." Saya berkira-kira itulah maksud bait-bait yang dilagukan. Indah. Saya lihat setiap wajah di ruangan majlis itu menguntum senyuman. Si Ibu duduk di balik tirai tipis yang memisahkan ruang lelaki dan perempuan, melihat bayinya yang diayun perlahan-lahan oleh Tok. Di wajahnya juga ada senyum. Bahagia... tentu sekali. Ia sebuah majlis yang bahagia untuk semua.

Dan saya juga sepatutnya bahagia. Ya... sepatutnya. Tetapi entah mengapa hati menjadi semakin sayu. Sungguh sayu. Sehingga saya hampir menitiskan air mata untuk kesekian kalinya. Tidak... di majlis bahagia ini tidak sepatutnya ada air mata yang tumpah. Tidak ada tempat untuk air mata di sini. Yang ada hanya senyum dan syukur. Senyum dan syukur.

Lantas perlahan-lahan saya menyusup keluar ke anjung belakang rumah. Angin dingin malam menyapa wajah, yang saya harap mampu menyapu air mata yang sudah mula bertitisan di wajah saya. Saya mahu bersendiri untuk seketika, tidak mahu siapa-siapa melihat saya menangis lagi. Melabuhkan punggung dibangku kayu dan melempar pandangan sejauh yang mungkin. Pastinya pandangan terbatas sekadar laman yang bermandi cahaya separa malap lampu kalimantang di anjung dapur itu. Selain itu, segalanya gelap gelita. Dan entah apa agaknya yang menghuni gelap gelita itu. Begitu juga hidup, kita sentiasa tidak akan tahu apa yang menanti di hadapan.

Di saat kita melihat dunia ini penuh kegelapan, Allah hanya menutup satu pintu tetapi membuka banyak pintu yang lain. Tetapi dengan bodoh kita sering berkeluh-kesah, meratapi satu pintu yang ditutup itu. Tanpa melihat pintu-pintu lain yang telah Allah buka dan nikmat-nikmat lain yang telah Allah kurnia. Allah dengan sifat Al-Wakilnya tidak akan pernah membiarkan kita. Allah tidak akan menghalangi satu rezeki pun dari kita. Bila Allah menghalangi maka itu agar kita memikirkan hikmahnya atau untuk menguji dan mengampuni kita. Hingga nanti kita keluar dari dunia ini sebagai penghuni syurga.

Kadangkala kita terlalu sibuk memikirkan sesuatu yang telah Allah jamin. Ia pasti akan datang apabila sampai masanya. Dalam kesibukan itu kita lupa pada apa yang Allah perintahkan. Allah telah menjamin kita dengan rezeki dan memerintahkan kita dengan ibadah! Mengapa mahu menyibukkan diri dan bersusah hati dengan harapan yang belum kunjung tiba? Sibukkan saja diri dengan apa yang ditugaskan untuk kita. Ibadah, ibadah dan ibadah!

Tawakkal merupakan ibadah hati, dan tidak terkait dengan anggota badan. Anggota badan kita harus bekerja keras seolah tiada tawakal. Sedangkan hati kita tidak menggubris keberadaan anggota badan, sehingga tidak akan memikirkan hukum sebab-akibat, dan hanya terkait dengan Allah sahaja. Kadangkala saya terlupa akan hakikat ini. Saya menyempurnakan sebab dengan menemui doktor saban bulan sebagai satu usaha tetapi terlupa untuk memutuskan sebab itu dari hati. Meletakkan segala hasil pada usaha itu adalah sesuatu yang keliru dan salah! Dari saat ini saya menyerahkan semula segalanya pada Al-Wakil. Allah lah yang akan memberi rezeki dan menunjukkan jalan keluar pada waktu yang terbaik yang telah Dia tentukan.

Lihat saja Rasulullah saat Allah mengambil semua "sebab" yang telah dia terbiasa dengannya. Mewafatkan Abu Talib yang selama ini berdiri melindunginya dan teman setianya Khadijah pada tahun yang paling sukar dalam hidup dakwahnya. Apakah hikmahnya diambil insan-insan ini di saat Nabi amat memerlukan keduanya. Tidak lain tidak bukan semata-mata mahu menguji tawakkalnya Nabi Allah ini. Rasulullah tidak punya sesiapa melainkan Allah ketika itu!

Ketika semua jalan dan perawatan menemui jalan buntu dan si kecil yang dinanti tidak kunjung tiba, saya sepatutnya tidak bersedih dan menangis seperti ini. Kerana ini tanda kasih Allah.... tanda kasih Allah yang Maha Pengasih. Dia hanya mahu aku kembali padanya dan mengakui bahawa Dia itu adalah Al-Wakil...

"Dengan nama-Mu, Tuhanku, aku letakkan badanku, dan dengan Mu aku akan mengangkatnya. Jika kau genggam jiwaku, maka rahmatilah ia, dan jika Kau lepaskan ia, maka jagalah ia seperti Kau menjaga hamba-hambaMu yang shalih" (HR. Bukhari dan Muslim)

-penulisan diolah dari Hati Sebening Air - Amru Khalid-

Tawakkal

"Saya takut, kak..."

"Adakah 'saya takut' itu boleh menjadi alasan di hadapan Allah nanti?" saya bertanya kembali.

Dia tersenyum pahit. Di wajahnya tergambar seribu kerisauan. Saya malah menjadi serba salah kerana meletakkan dia dalam keadaan itu pada pertemuan kami pada malam itu.

"Baik....apa yang awak takutkan?"

"Macam-macam"

"Antaranya?"

"Bagaimana nanti kalau mereka yang saya bawa tak menjadi? Bagaimana nanti kalau saya lansung terlalu sibuk sehingga mengabaikan study? Tambah lagi sudah mahu masuk tahun akhir ni."

Saya terdiam. Di dalam hati cuba merungkai satu-satu setiap soal yang dia utarakan. Nampaknya berbeza tetapi keduanya adalah dahan dari pokok persoalan yang sama.

"Di situ datangnya tawakkal, bukan?" saya menyoalnya kembali.

'Kasihan, apabila manusia menyangka tawakkal tertinggi itu dalam urusan duniawi. Tidak! Tawakkal yang tertinggi itu dalam berdakwah kepada Allah. Alangkah naif, orang yang tidak merasakan kelezatan dakwah di jalan Allah, tapi ia mengerti nilai tawakkal. Tawakkal yang paling indah adalah tawakkal para da'i ada Allah S.W.T. Kenapa? Karena ketika bertawakkal, mereka merasakan kecintaan Allah S.W.T. Yang bertawakkal dalam urusan rezeki, isteri dan problematika dunia, itu sebuah kebaikan. Tapi ia belum mengerti hakikat tawakkal'

'Tawakkal yang tertinggi adalah tawakkal dalam berdakwah di jalan Allah. Cobalah! Serulah kawan kita, ajak mereka lalu bertawakkallah pada Allah. Mereka pasti akan mencari petunjuk.'

Amru Khalid -Hati Sebening Air

Apa yang diterima Nabi Ibrahim setelah menghancurkan berhala? Basah bibirnya mengucapkan doa 'hasbunallah wa ni'mal wakil...' saat dia hampir dicampakkan ke dalam unggun yang marak membakar. Sudahnya, Nabi Ibrahim A.S tetap hidup, keluar dari api dan meneruskan dakwahnya kepada Allah. Maka orang yang bertawakkal mana bisa jadi penakut??

Kata ini di juga diucapkan Nabi Musa saat menghadapi kaumnya... Juga oleh para sahabat saat segerombolan musuh semakin menghampir.

"Saya cuba, insyaAllah"

Sebaris kata darinya cukup melegakan. 'Takut' tadi sudah digantikan dengan 'cuba'. Saya kira itu tanda positif sebagai garis mula sebuah 'usaha'. Moga Allah mengganjari usaha itu dengan sebaik-baik ganjaran dan Dia akan sentiasa bersamamu...

Saya sendiri sedang mendidik jiwa menjadi seorang yang mutawakkil. Dan sememangnya saya akui tidak mudah. Sungguh payah! Tawakkal tercapai dengan latihan dan tercapai puncak tawakkal dengan tahapan... Di setiap tahapan itu saya melihat Allah mendatangkan satu demi satu ujian. Mana mungkin mampu ke tahapan seterusnya jika tidak melepasi ujian itu, apatah lagi mahu mengenggam ijazah tawakkal itu. Mencapai tawakkal setinggi tawakkal para nabi..

Dan saat ini saya sedang di uji... Allah sedang menguji nilai tawakkal saya sebagai tanda kasih sayangnya....

(bersambung)

Hidup seorang instruktur

Penghawa dingin masih tidak berfungsi seperti yang sepatutnya walaupun sudah dua kali juruteknik datang merawatnya... Biarlah... Saya sudah malas mahu ke sana ke mari mengisi borang laporan kerosakan atau membuat panggilan ke jabatan berkaitan. Kipas meja kelabu, hadiah perkahwinan kami, saya bawa ke pejabat dan dihalakan terus ke muka. Walau tidak senyaman penghawa dingin, tapi cukuplah untuk menghalau kepanasan. Alhamdulillah....

Hari ini rancangnya mahu menyiapkan dokumen dan rekod berkaitan setiap alatan di makmal yang sekian lama tergendala kerana dari hari ke hari saya lupa membawa kamera untuk mengambil gambar alatan tersebut. Hari ini akhirnya sudah bawa kamera! Ya, satu kejayaan di situ. Tapiiiiiii..... lupa pula bawa wayar sambungan untuk meng'upload' gambar ke komputer. Desktop ini pula tidak punya SD card slot...haih...

Saya gagahkan juga diri ke makmal yang diletakkan di bawah tanggungjawab saya. Ambil beberapa gambar berkaitan. Lihat keliling makmal. Semaknya! Tiba-tiba semangat kerajinan merasuk ke dalam diri. Lalu satu makmal saya kemas sehingga licin berkilat (memang betul-betul licin berkilat sebab saya siap lapkan work bench dengan kain basah untuk buang habuk yang tebal macam kamus!). Susun glassware dan alatan dalam almari yang ditetapkan.

"Comelnya laaaaab!" kata Hadi, rakan instruktur yang menjenguk.

"Ini namanya lab orang perempuan," kata saya.

Hadi tersengih sebelum meninggalkan saya sendirian semula. Siap mengemas saya pusing-pusing bangunan mencari makcik tukang sapu untuk minta pinjam penyapu. Tak jumpa. Hanya jumpa adik tukang sapu yang comel. Baru berumur 19 tahun, namanya Yana. (sempat lagi berkenalankan...). Tiba-tiba semangat kerajinan hilang begitu sahaja. Lalu minta tolong adik Yana untuk menyudahkan tugas menyapu. Adik Yana senyum. Saya ucap terima kasih.

Balik ke bilik. Duduk semula di kerusi biru yang boleh pusing-pusing ini. Nampak kuih temosa dalam plastik kuning yang dibeli masa sarapan dengan Muhammad pagi tadi. Tiba-tiba lapar. Tapi menahan diri dari mencapai temosa kerana sepatutnya kuih itu di simpan untuk ganti makan tengah hari. (Hari ini konon-konon mahu mula diet). Tapi temosa terus menggoda dan saya kalah dengan godaannya. Maka dua biji temosa selamat masuk ke perut. Tengok jam, dah pukul 12. Owh kire betullah saya makan tengah hari sebab memang sedang tengah hari. Ada sebijik lagi kuih mengintai dari balik plastik. Pulut sira dengan kelapa. Saya makan lagi sampai habis... Burpppp.. kenyang alhamdulillah.

Buka blog. Baca-baca blog orang. Sedang menulis entry ini. Muhammad telefon. mengingatkan saya untuk ambil cuti Rabu dan Khamis ini sambil menyarankan saya pergi pinjam laptop siapa-siapa yang ada SD card. Bernas juga idea Muhammad tersebut.

Sebelum beredar mencari mangsa untuk di hijack laptopnya, saya nak meletakkan hadiah impian untuk hari jadi yang bakal menjelang lebih kurang sebulan empat hari dari sekarang. Eh tapi, kalau sebut sekarang macam awal sangat nanti semua orang lupa, ye tak? Takpe nanti semakin hampir harinya saya ingatkan sekali lagi. Saya beritahu awal-awal supaya sesiapa yang nak menunaikan impian hari jadi saya ini mempunyai cukup masa untuk mengumpul wang bagi membeli hadiah hari jadi saya. Baikkan hati saya?

Baiklah, untuk hari jadi tahun ini saya amat menginginkan ini! jeng...jeng...jeng!

Cool bukan? Kenapa dia cool? Sebabnya dia ada 15 in 1: Al-Qur’an terjemahan Per Kata, Tajwid Sistem Quantum Reading Qur’an, Panduan Hukum Tajwid, VCD Tutorial Sistem Quantum Reading Qur’an, Tafsir Al-Muyassar, Asbabunnuzul, Doa-doa dalam Al-Qur’an, Mukjizat Al-Qur’an, Indeks Al-Qur’an, Atlas Al-Qur’an, Kisah Para Nabi dalam Al-Qur’an, Dzikir Al-Ma’surat, Intisari Ayat, Links to Related Articles. Mesti aktiviti usrah saya akan jadi lebih riang gembira dan informatif dengan hadirnya tafsir ini dalam hidup saya. Jadi, untuk sesiapa yang nak hadiahkan saya tafsir ini, kalau tak tahu nak cari di mana, boleh beli online di laman web ini. Harga dia Rp 296,000, saya dah tolong convertkan ke mata wang Malaysia (baik kan hati saya?). Murah saja, harganya RM 97. Tak perlu beli sekarang pun tak apa. Ingat, hari jadi saya lagi sebulan 4 hari. Anda ada baaanyak masa lagi. hehe!

notakaki: Oh tiba-tiba menjadi emo melihat pelajar menggunakan lab pada hari ini, masa lab tu semak takde pula orang guna bila dah kemas baru nak guna. huk! T_T. Lalu buat muka garang dan jenguk kepala di lab lalu memberi nasihat (read: amaran) supaya mereka mengemas semula seperti sediakala ketika sebelum mereka menggunakan.

notatangan: kenapa hari ni saya tulis entry spesis bangun tidur minum kopi ni? sigh.... I need tazkiyah...

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

Assalamualaikum...

Special entry to promote this wonderful blog of my beloved sisters at a land far...far...away from Malaysia. Do visit them and I'm sure you'll be one of the fan! Read from the mind of these beautiful sisters of mine, insyaAllah it will inspire you in a way or another...

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

(yes.... don't get confused, the blog is not 'under construction' it is their NAME!)
(why dont' u make it easy for us, girls???huhu!)

Okay...sile bayar kak yana the fee for this advert... huhu!

Aku Mahu Jadi Spt Khansa'

Assalamualaikum...

Lamanya tidak menulis dari hati. Masuk hari ini sudah sepuluh hari saya bercuti sakit kerana menjalani pembedahan kecil. Sebelumnya, doktor masih memberi pilihan lain selain pembedahan. Ubat yang saya makan setiap hari masih belum pada dos maksimum. Kata doktor kalau saya mahu, saya masih boleh mencuba lagi sebulan dengan dos maksimum. Saya pandang Muhammad yang berdiri di sebelah saya. Bilik Dr. Sue itu sudah amat biasa pada pandangan mata kami, kerana lawatan yang sekerap hampir setiap bulan. Setiap kali masuk, saya pasti akan melihat jambangan-jambangan bunga yang diatur kemas di tepi tingkap berhadapan dengan pintu masuk. Di celah-celah jambangan bunga itu ada foto bayi-bayi comel dengan kad-kad ucapan yang dikepil bersama. Tanda terima kasih atas ikhtiar doktor sehingga mereka mampu menimang cahaya mata setelah sekian lama menanti. Semuanya kurnia Allah.

Setiap kali melihat itu semua saya tersenyum. Bahagianya mereka, saya dapat bayangkan. Suatu hari, sambil menanti preskripsi ubat, saya katakan pada Muhammad,

"Kalau Fateh dah datang nanti, kita beri bunga pada Dr.Sue juga ya?"

Muhammad senyum. InsyaAllah.... katanya sambil menyeka air mata yang kelihatan bergenang di mata saya ketika itu. Oh, saya tidak sedar saya menitiskan air mata. Malah saya tidak tahu air mata itu untuk apa. Sedang ketika itu saya asyik melihat anak-anak kecil bermain dengan di sudut bermain yang disediakan di ruang menunggu itu. Comel dan riang.

Ketika saya kembali sedar, saya sedang disorong kembali ke wad daripada bilik pembedahan. Rasa amat ngilu di perut dan kepala amat pusing. Muhammad berdiri di sisi katil penuh prihatin. "Sakit..." kata saya pada Muhammad sebelum saya kembali melelapkan mata selepas diberikan pil oleh seorang jururawat yang datang ketika itu. Bangun saja dari lena, Dr.Sue datang melawat bertanyakan keadaan saya. Dr. Sue menerangkan prosedur yang telah dilakukannya tadi. Alhamdulillah katanya tiada yang abnormal pada uterus dan tiub fallopio cuma seperti yang dijangka, ovary saya saiznya agak besar. Kami menonton video pembedahan yang diberikan doktor. Begini rupanya prosedur ovarian drilling.

"Kalau diikutkan, sungguh akak rasa melahirkan dan membesarkan anak ini cukup payah. Malah kalau mungkin akak tak nak melaluinya lagi. Manakan lagi sakitnya, tidak cukup tidurnya. Lagi pula mahu mencari masa menelaah dalam kesibukan menguruskan anak"

Kata ukhti dalam halaqah mingguan kami yang kembali saya sertai setelah seminggu bercuti. Ukhti yang saya amat kagumi ini sudah punya seorang anak sedang dia di tahun akhir pengajian perubatan. Malah apa yang lebih saya kagumi, kesibukannya itu tidak pernah menjadi alasan untuk dia terus komited dengan program tarbiyah dan dakwah. Kerap kali saya katakan pada Muhammad saya mahu jadi ibu sebaik ukhti ini.

"Tapi kita melahirkan bukan untuk dibalas jasa oleh mereka kelak bila mereka dah dewasa, tapi kita melahirkan dan terus melahirkan kerana kita mahu melahirkan ISLAM! Kalau kita sudah tiada nanti mereka inilah yang akan menyambung perjuangan kita" sambung ukhti itu lagi.

"Betul... dan itulah satu penghormatan tertinggi untuk wanita," sampuk seorang lagi ukhti fillah yang lain. Saya mengangguk-angguk dan tersenyum. Terdetik rasa kekurangan kerana saya belum dikurniakan penghormatan bergelar seorang ibu lagi. Astaghfirullah... sungguh itu semua rahsia Allah.

"Tapi, kalau ditakdirkan kita tidak punya zuriat, jangan sedih pula kerana tidak mampu melahirkan Islam. Itu tandanya Allah mahu kita mentarbiah anak-anak lain supaya mampu mewarisi perjuangan itu. Lihat saja Aisyah R.A. Aisyah sendiri tidak punya anak tetapi lihat bagaimana dia menyampaikan ilmunya pada yang lain selepas ketiadaan Rasulullah S.A.W" kata ukhti itu lagi sambil tersenyum kepada saya. Mungkin dia memahami apa yang bermain difikiran saya ketika itu.

Jauh di sudut hati, saya teringin untuk suatu hari nanti saya mengucapkan kata-kata yang diucapkan Khansa' dengan tenang saat menerima berita syahidnya keempat-empat puteranya di medan jihad

“Segala puji bagi Allah, yang telah memuliakanku dengan kesyahidan mereka, dan aku mengharapkan dari Tuhanku, agar Dia mengumpulkan aku dengar mereka di tempat tinggal yang kekal dengan rahmat-Nya!”

InsyaAllah...insyaAllah... moga Allah mengabulkan. Dan saya akan tetap menanti dengan sabar.

Mari lihat muka bayi comel supaya dpt anak comel juga!

We are LAUNCHING!!

Assalamualaikum...

Maybe you have been to Muslim retail shops before, looking for decent Islamic clothing, only to be disappointed by either its lack of availability or by the poor quality and styles of what limited selection there is. We at Ar-Raqaiq believe that you deserve the opportunity to buy quality, stylish garments which meet the requirement of modesty. We found the solution in SHUKR collections and here we bring you the fashionable Islamic clothing that you can wear with pride! SHUKR is a high quality producer of Islamic and modest clothing for women, men and children from Syria. Famous for creating unique designs, SHUKR was the first to introduce contemporary styled Islamic clothing for a new generation. Alhamdulillah... I would like to invite my fellow readers and bloggers to our boutique blog at

http://raqaiqclothing.blogspot.com

-Or-

http://www.facebook.com/raqaiqclothing

The stock that we currently have in our blog now are very limited. (only one or 2 piece per design!) So, HURRY! I already sold one upon the launching few minutes ago! Alhamdulillah! If your really like us and would like to promote on your site or blog, we happily provide you with the banner below. Copy it and LINK US! Jazakallah khayr!

-Khadeeja-

Suatu Ketika...

Catatan di hari ke-4 di bumi Anbia'....

Muhammad awal-awal pagi lagi sudah menelefon minta saya bersedia. Lebih kurang setengah jam selepas jam enam, dia dan Amin tiba di hadapan rumah yang saya tumpangi dengan sebuah teksi yang disewa 80 dinar. Pagi itu kami akan ke bandar Damsyik (atau Damascus dalam bahasa Inggeris dan Dimash dalam bahasa Arab) di Syria, negara jiran Jordan. Matlamat utamanya mahu melawat business partner yang beroperasi di sana dan selain itu mahu bersiar-siar melihat kota tertua yang masih didiami itu. Pagi itu cuacanya tidak sesejuk seperti hari-hari sebelumnya. Dan saya bersyukur kerana cuaca tidak terlalu sejuk kerana sepanjang perjalanan, kerap kali kami terpaksa membuka tingkap bagi mengelakkan asap rokok yang berkepul-kepul dari kerusi pemandu, yang menyesakkan nafas dan mencemarkan paru-paru kami. Kata adik-adik di Irbid, itu memang lazimnya tabiat pemandu teksi di Jordan, kopi dan rokok memang tidak dapat dipisahkan daripada mereka. Perjalanan kami ke Syria mengambil masa kira-kira 2 jam, termasuk masa-masa menunggu untuk urusan visa dan pasport di sempadan. Ada dalam 2-3 checkpoint yang perlu dilepasi sebelum kami selamat merentasi sempadan Jordan-Syria.

Selepas bersarapan pagi, kami melangkah ke Masjid Agung Damsyik atau lebih dikenali sebagai Masjid Umayyad yang terkenal sebagai masjid yang tertua dan terbesar di dunia. Untuk sampai ke masjid itu, pengunjung perlu melalui sebuah pasar yang juga antara yang terpanjang (di dunia?) yang digelar Souk Hamidi. Melewati kedai-kedai di sepanjang bazaar itu sudah tentunya menguji nafsu kewanitaan saya yang gemar membeli-belah. Tambah pula melihatkan jubah-jubah yang sangat cantik dan berpatutan harganya. Belum lagi membelek-belek sarung bantal bermanik-manik dan permaidani, hasil buatan khusus warga Syria. Rambang mata! Muhammad yang mungkin dapat membaca fikiran saya ketika itu cepat-cepat menarik tangan saya supaya berjalan terus, jangan tersinggah-singgah. Entah berapa lama pula masa akan terbuang kalau sudah tersinggah dan memilih-milih. (huhu!)

Salah sebuah kedai di Souk Hamidi

Kredit kpd Amin untuk gambar ini :)

Sampai ke hujung bazaar membawa kami ke sebuah lapangan terbuka dan di situ tersergam pintu gerbang ke Masjid Umayyad. Subhanallah seperti ada suatu perasaan yang menyelinap masuk dalam hati saya ketika itu. Saya membayangkan keadaan masjid itu di zaman kegemilangan Damsyik sebagai ibu kota kerajaan Bani Umayyah. Saya membayangkan bagaimana sibuknya lapangan ini suatu ketika dahulu dengan umat Islam yang berpusu-pusu keluar masuk dari masjid ini yang tentunya menjadi pusat gerakan masyarakat ketika itu. Saya membayangkan saya sedang berjalan di atas jejak kaki para sahabat yang bermati-matian menyebarkan Islam dan membangunkan sebuah empayar suatu ketika dahulu. Masjid ini hanya dibina pada 706 M, lebih kurang 71 tahun selepas kota itu di bebaskan oleh pahlawan Islam, Khalid Al-Walid semasa zaman pemerintahan Umar Al-Khattab (634 M).

Perkarangan Masjid Umayyad

Masjid Umayyad dimulakan pembinaannya pada zaman Khalifah Al-Walid yang menjadi pengganti Khalifah Abd Malik dan mengambil masa 9 tahun untuk disiapkan. Di bahagian solat muslimah ada sebuah binaan menyerupai perigi yang dikatakan sebagai tempat pembatisan Kristian, yang membuktikan tapak masjid ini sebelumnya adalah sebuah Gereja Kristian St. John. Masjid Umayyad yang menjadi simbol kemegahan Kerajaan Islam Bani Umayyah masih tersergam indah di hadapan mata kami, menjadi bukti kehebatan generasi Islam terdahulu. Sungguh apa yang tersergam di hadapan mata saya ketika itu membangkitkan izzah saya sebagai seorang Islam. Walaupun realitinya kini.... di manakah letaknya Islam di mata umat dunia? Masjid ini mempunyai kisah yang lebih baik jika dibandingkan dengan Mezquita de Cordoba di Spain, kerana masih menjadi hak milik orang Islam sedang Mezquita itu sudah bertukar fungsinya sebagai sebuah gereja pada hari ini. Menara yang dahulunya menjadi tempat si muazzin melaungkan azan kini dipasang sebuah loceng besar menandakan Kristian sudah mengambil alih fungsinya.

Hiasan dalaman masjid juga mengagumkan. Ketika kami masuk, seorang sheikh sedang menyampaikan kuliah. Pastinya dalam bahasa Arab yang kurang saya fahami. Di bahagian tengah, ada sebuah kotak kaca hijau besar yang bertulis:


Yang membawa maksud 'Ini ialah makam kepala Nabi Allah Yahya A.S'. Dikisahkan ketika itu, Hirodus Penguasa Palestin, mahu mengahwini anak saudaranya sendiri yang cantik jelita bernama Herodia. Nabi Yahya yang berpegang kepada Kitab Taurat ketika itu, mengeluarkan fatwa yang mengharamkan perkahwinan antara ayah saudara dan anak saudara, lalu fatwa itu tersebar ke segenap pelosok negeri. Herodia tidak berpuas hati dengan fatwa yang dikeluarkan oleh Nabi Yahya kerana dianggap merosakkan rancangannya untuk bergelar seorang permaisuri raja. Maka dengan kecantikannya itu, dia telah menggoda Hirodus untuk membuktikan kecintaannya kepada Herodia dengan menghadiahkan Herodia kepala Nabi Yahya yang dianggap menghalang cinta mereka. Hirodus yang terpedaya dengan pujukan seorang wanita akur dan mengerahkan orang suruhannya untuk membawa kepala Nabi Yahya kepadanya. Maka wafatlah Nabi Allah Yahya dalam mempertahankan agamanya. Laknat Allah untuk bukan saja Hirodus dan kekasihnya, bahkan untuk seluruh Bani Israel yang telah membunuh nabi-nabi Allah. Di satu bilik lain pula terdiri makam kepala Husin.

Makam Nabi Yahya A.S

Di taman sebelah luar Masjid Umayyad ada makam Salahudin Al-Ayubi, pahlawan Islam yang membebaskan BaitulMaqdis lewat Perang Hittin. Tugu memperingati keperwiraan Salahudin dalam perang itu didirkan juga di hadapan pintu masuk ke kawasan Masjid Umayyad. Salahudin menjadi pemerintah di Damsyik untuk menumpukan perhatiannya kepada wilayah-wilayah di Syria dan akhirnya wafat di kota ini sekitar tahun 1193 M.

Tugu Salahudin Al-Ayubi

Hari sudah semakin lewat, waktu pula semakin suntuk... kami nampaknya perlu bergegas ke Jisreen di mana tempat temu janji kami pada hari itu... Dan pertemuan kami dengan dia di Jisreen membuka lembaran baru dalam hidup kami....insyaAllah..

(bersambung)